A Crazy Few Weeks

We don't have an official topic for this week (unless I missed something), but I've skipped blogging the past two weeks due to being ridiculously busy and overwhelmed, so I definitely wanted to pop in today with some type of a post.

I hate when I miss posting, and I hate even more that I haven't stayed up to date with all of the other Novel Girls, but time has been scarce as of late. My eldest son graduated from high school, I had book signings and other promo-related time-consuming details to deal with, and a book (By Magic Alone) that needed my attention.

I turned in By Magic Alone last Monday, so things are sort of beginning to ease timewise. Thank goodness! But I'm also behind on a bunch of other stuff, and once I get caught up on all of that, I have other books to write. That's right...more books! I can't announce anything officially just yet, but I should be able to by next week or the following. When I can, I'll share all of the details!

But here it is mid-June and my brain is back a few months, somewhere in April, I think. It will probably take me a few more weeks to actually be ready for summer. How's your summer going so far? I'd love to hear!

A Question of Fame

Since we're just having a free for all this week, I thought I'd write about something I was just thinking about this morning and that's famous people and why we're so fascinated with their lives, or more aptly, their deaths. Yesterday, I heard lots of talk about Al and Tipper Gore's divorce and I thought it was interesting that so many people found it shocking. Admittedly, I too was shocked. And then today, I watched Rue McClanahan's death ripple through Twitter, and I also had that sad moment where I remembered how much I used to love to watch the Golden Girls. And this is just the last two days -- last week I read with morbid curiosity and sadness about the death of Brittany Murphy's husband and also of Gary Coleman. But that brings me to my question: People get divorced all the time, and sadly, strangers (which is really what famous people are to most of us) die all the time. So why are we so saddened/shocked/impressioned by it when it concerns famous people?

Is it because we feel we know them, that through movies and TV shows, People magazine and Us Weekly, we feel like they're somehow distantly connected to us? Maybe. I think for me, whenever something bad happens to a famous person, it serves as a reminder that bad things can happen to *anyone* no matter how rich, privelaged, or famous they are. And things like death, illness, divorce, are scary to think about. These are the kinds of things we always want to think won't happen to us or our families, and so when they happen to famous people, who look and seem vastly shinier, wealthier, and more privelaged than the rest of us, maybe we suddenly realize we're a little less immune?

This morning, I found myself in a cemetary visiting someone's grave with my husband. As we walked around looking for the right place, I pointed out the very, very obvious to my husband that cemetaries are vastly depressing. They're huge, there are dead people everywhere, dead people you don't know, and names you don't recognize. And yet somehow, almost shockingly, that didn't feel as sad to me as reading about Rue McClanahan's death when I got home. Like all those graves I saw, she was just a stranger to me, so I have to wonder, what makes us feel more for celebrities?

What do you think?

The Ryman, Neil Young, Will and Me

Today I'll chat about my son, Neil Young and the infamous Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee. The three converged last night as I escorted my youngest boy, Will, to the first of two concerts in Nashville for Mr. Young on his "Twisted Road" tour.

Here's the best. Will and I were lying on the couch at 6:30 p.m. when we looked at each other and wondered, "Exactly why aren't we going to see the show?" A ticket price of $127.50, maybe? Hmmm. Could that be the reason? I told Will that if he could get two for the price of one, I'd take him. "I'll find them, Mom. I swear," he says. So we jumped in the car, flew down to the Ryman, and ended up on the main floor - great seats - for half price!! It's amazing how well the scalpers will deal a few minutes after the opening act starts!

For those of you who don't know, I'm a rock and roll lover. Well, freak may be more like it. And naturally, so is my son. The beautiful part about last night is that Will loves Neil Young because of me!! I used to dream about the day I could take my kids to concerts. Now, he even knows more about the legendary rock star than I do.

The concert was, well there isn't really a good enough word that hasn't already been used to describe Neil's shows. But for clarification sake I'll just say the concert was everything we hoped it would be. Neil carried the show solo but had all of his different instruments set around the stage. Both his acoustic and electric guitars were in the middle, his grand piano on stage right. His pump organ was in the rear of the stage and his upright piano was off to stage left. And of course, his harmonica was usually in the holder around his neck. He spent the evening rotating around each instrument sharing the depth of his talent with the audience. Mr. Young didn't say much, but if you've been following his career at all you know that's his way - quintessentially Neil.

Each time he sang an old song my son jabbed me in the arm and I got to watch a huge smile spread across his face.

That was heaven for me. So was getting to spend an entire evening sitting next to my twenty-year-old son.

Beware of Bloggers Holding Cameras!

Since Tracy brought up the subject of public reading, I'll share a funny recent story on the topic. I do agree with Tracy that there's something just a little nervewracking about reading my work out loud, in front of people, but after having done it a lot recently, I've gotten past the nerves and really don't mind it. I actually enjoy reading and talking to a receptive audience.

But at the end of Febuary I did a reading, Q&A, and signing at Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe. It went well, and the people who came to see me were lovely and asked lots of great questions. Then I came home and saw that a blogger who came to the reading, I Heart Monster, had something on Twitter, something that said she had taped my reading and was about to post it live soon. Okay, honestly, I. Was. Freaking. Out!!! It was one thing to speak in public, but to have to see a recording of it, to have my reading somehow made permenant for anyone on the Internet to see. . . now that was scary to me.

Luckily the video turned out well, and she did a great job of making it, even though I had no idea she was doing it at the time. And as an added bonus, I now have a really great video to use on my website. So my terror quickly turned to gratitude.

But a few weeks later I did a talk at a book festival, and I saw I Heart Monster in the audience. Of course, I immediately asked her if she planned on taping it (and then sighed with relief when she said no!)

And just in case you're wondering, here is her video from my Changing Hands reading!

Jillian Cantor Book Signing Event from I Heart Monster on Vimeo.

*Cough* Public Speaking

We (The Novel Girls) haven't settled on a topic for this week yet, at least at the time of this writing (Sunday afternoon), so I am declaring this week "Open Mic Week." Or, um, each of us can talk about whatever the heck we want to talk about.

Now, the rest of the girls might decide to stick to the same-as-of-yet-unchosen topic, or maybe they'll follow my lead, or maybe they'll come up with something on their own. But I'm going to talk about public speaking. Or, in this case, public reading.

I know at least some of the other Novel Girls have read from their books in public. Possibly, they all have. But I never had. This past weekend, I had the opportunity to read a scene from my upcoming release A BREATH OF MAGIC, at an event that my local RWA chapter holds each year: The Spring Book Lover's Event.

The thing is, we've never held live readings before. This was a new activity, and while I was given the opportunity to have someone else read for me, I decided to push through the wall of my gut reaction (which, for the record was, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????) and do the reading myself.

I changed my mind a dozen times in the month leading up to the event, but ultimately, stuck with my guns. Choosing the scene to read took a lot of time on my part. Mostly because the scene I wanted to read also gave away a huge spoiler in the book, but this is also my favorite scene in the book. It's powerful, emotional, and something I felt sure that anyone listening would be able to connect with.

So I put the decision off. And then Friday night came and I realized "Oh, no! I have to read tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm going to read." I opened up the manuscript and began pouring through it. I chose three different scenes before finally settling on one that I thought (hoped) would be compelling, but also didn't give away a dang thing.

I arrived at the event early on Saturday. The readings started around 11:30 AM and continued every 30 minutes or so throughout the day. I was the third reader up, and I have to say my knees were literally knocking together by the time I stood behind the podium.

There were quite a few people there, all of them watching me with interested eyes. I started to read, and wow, I really thought I wasn't going to be able to do it. I was that nervous. My voice wobbled and shook a lot through the first portion of the scene. I think I mangled a few words here and there. But then, somehow, from the middle section on, I found a better rhythm. Oh, I wasn't at ease, but my voice shook a little less and came out a little more confident.

I managed to finish the reading without passing out, throwing up, or having any other horribly embarrassing thing happen. When I finished, I answered a few questions, gave away a few copies of the first two books in my series, and thankfully took my seat.

And while I was proud of myself for accomplishing a goal I was really, really petrified of, I also wished I'd done a lot better. See, I'm a talker. I love to talk with people. I can talk about books, writing, the weather, my kids, your kids, ANYTHING without missing a beat. I love to socialize. But this--reading my work in public--was incredibly difficult.

And because I'm a sucker for punishment, I want to do more of this. I want to become better at it. After my reading, USA Today Bestselling author Elizabeth Vaughan read her short story OFF THE RACK (from the anthology Pandora's Closet) and she was amazing. Breathtakingly amazing. The story was wonderful and she told it as if she wasn't reading, but sharing. I was (and still am) in complete awe.

So, while I have no illusions of ever being able to read my work in public with the aptitude and beauty that Elizabeth did, she has given me something to work toward. I don't know if practice will help. I don't know how to get over the knocking knees and pounding heart and terrifying fear of stepping behind a podium and reading something in such a way that enthralls an entire room.

But dang, I am definitely going to try it again.

What about you? Are you comfortable with public speaking? And if so, do you think that comfort would spill over into reading your own writing to a group of people? Any tips for someone who is comfortable speaking in public, but not reading in public? I'd love some help for the next time!