That is the sound my overtaxed synaptic network makes trying to cope with the inherent contradictions of this most vexing and tantalizing of seasons.
(I live in Canada, remember?)
I grew up in Edmonton where, if the temperature rose above freezing in April, the boys in the neighborhood went rushing out shirtless and in cutoffs into the streets to play Frizbee. Because Summer was so dang short you had to make the most of Spring to help stretch the fun budget.
Toronto, where I now hang my hat, is a little different. Summers are hot and humid and not all that short for Canada. They're good, I enjoy them - but the seasons I love are the ones that bracket Summer. The inbetween ones. I adore the Autumn - except it's a kind of poignant adoration, because I know what lies in wait at its finish. Bleh. Spring, therefore, should be my most beloved time of the year. And it is. Except when it's not.
For Spring, you see, is a maddening concotion of contradictions. It makes me a crazy person.
"Look at all that watercolor-fresh sunlight! Let's go run outside in a floaty skirt and no winter coat!"....."OMG! It's freezing out here! My knees are blue! Where is my long underwear? Why? Why do you mock me, sun?"
"Look how all that snow has finally melted! Let's go run outside and enjoy the newly uncovered world!"....."Ack! Yuck! Look at all that crap left behind in the gutters! What is that on my sandal?Why didn't I wear socks? Ew. Is that snow mold? Were all these cigarette butts hiding under that snowbank?? The horror!"
And on and on.
"I can finally go out in the garden!"..... "But it's an utter disaster!"..... "It's sunny and bright out!".... "And completely bloody sub-zero!"...."It's cloudy and grey out!"....."But entirely too warm for this jacket!"....."Look! Squirrels! Whee!"....."They're eating the tulip shoots! Dang!"....."Green sprouty things!"....."Oh. Weeds.".....
Then I start to run around in ever-decreasing concentric circles until my head goes "Sproing!"
It's a tangled, difficult relationship. A love/hate thing.... um....
You'll excuse me now, won't you? I have gazed out my window and am compelled to go outside and frolick in the gentle golden breeze.
D'you think I'll need a coat?.... Nah.....