Bumpy Q&A!!!

I love these BUMP Launch-Week Questions! I love Maureen's Voice! And I just know I'm going to LOVE this book! (Which I'm still waiting on... up here in this far-distant land known as Canada...)

So without further ado.... Here we go!

Question One: In A BUMP IN THE ROAD, Clare loves to watch and order products from infomercials. Have you ever ordered anything off of an infomercial? (Being tempted counts!)

Okay. Yes. But I was a child. A CHILD! That's my excuse. My excuse for begging the folks one Christmas for a... (how appropriate)... a Bedazzler. *Hangs head in shame*

Back in my day, we called it the "Ronco Rinestone and Stud Setter" but it is functionally the same doo-dad. And I'm sure I turned out a whack of couture that had me looking just like Disco Stu on The Simpsons. I don't know. I've blocked out the memory.

Question Two: The book opens with Clare and her husband Jake being tortured on an airplane by a toddler sitting behind them. If you have kids, any funny stories about traveling with them? If not, who is the strangest person you've ever sat next to on an airplane?

Well... I don't have kids. And, strangely enough, my Airplane Fu is strong. I'm usually blessed with the non-talkative seat-mate (could have something to do with the iPod ear-buds jammed into my head coming off as discouraging of social discourse). But I usually get by with little weirdness on planes. Friends of mine may read that statement and find it odd -- because in other modes of transportation, I am a nut-magnet. I am the person that will somehow mystically cause all the utter whack-jobs to travel the entire length of a crowded subway car, just so they can stand next to me and have conversations with their fingers or do bad Elvis impersonations or holler at people, asking if they've ever given BLOOD!!?? or drop to the floor to do push-ups while wearing a light-up Santa hat and no shirt and the words VOTE FOR ME painted on their chest in bright red tempra paint (gawd, I hope it was paint!). Yeah. Airplanes? fine. But you do not want to take public transit with me. Jus' sayin'.

Question Three: As a famous blogger, Clare is often recognized in the public, usually right after she's spilled something on herself or the like. As an author, have you ever been recognized by a reader? Or have you ever seen a famous author in public?

Not really as an author, no. Not unless I'm at a convention and that's a little different. Of course, in my other life, I'm an actor. And there was a time, a couple of years back, after I shot a commercial for Becel margarine, when I spent a couple of months getting really really strange looks from people everytime I got on a escalator at the mall. Because of this:





Question Four: Clare's sister Sam, who's in high school, throws a party while their parents are out of town. Would you ever have dared to throw a party when your parents were gone? (No need to actually fess up...unless you want to!)

Oh dear. My mom reads this blog, y'know... ah heck. I think she already knows the answer to this one. And - frankly - I blame my brother, who is three years older than me. And the fact that, on one occasion, it simply didn't occur to me to check inside the piano for the beer somebody hid there and then forgot.

Question Five: One of Clare's guilty pleasures is watching really bad (and thus awesome), cheesy Lifetime movies--especially ones starring Tori Spelling. What is your guilty pleasure movie?

Being a medievalist, and an Arthurian scholar, my guilty pleasure is... a little different. It is... EXCALIBUR. I watch it often. Oh, how I love that O.T.T. John Boorman-directed fantasy cheese-fest, featuring a put-upon Nigel Terry, Helen Mirren hissing like a pissed-off kitten, more limb-hacking and blood-spurting than the Monty Python Black Knight scene, and Nicol Williamson chewing every available bit of scenery while the entire camera crew is reflected in his shiny chrome skull-cap. I am odd.

So there you have it. My Bump-a-thon Q&A! Thanks for the fun, Maureen! And may BUMP go on to make you and Clare so famous, you can't walk out the door for fear of tripping over the paparazzi!! Congratulations!

A BUMP IN THE ROAD = Awesomeness!

I’m going to try to make this quick, as I’ve got only 50 pages left in A BUMP IN THE ROAD and I really want to see what happens!! This book is fabulous, funny, and so relatable. I’m dying to finish it, but then I’m also so going to miss Clare when it's over!

Question One: In A BUMP IN THE ROAD, Clare loves to watch and order products from infomercials. Have you ever ordered anything off of an infomercial? (Being tempted counts!)

I’ve never actually ordered anything from an infomercial! I generally don’t watch them, but after my son was born, I’d sometimes be up in the middle of the night feeding him and desperate to watch something, so I’d turn on the only thing on: infomercials. Once, I was going to order some kind of abdominal crunch machine – granted I’d just had a baby, so my stomach was one of my top concerns at the time. Anyway, I didn’t order it in the middle of the night, but the next morning I tried to find it online, and when I Googled it, one of the first things that came up were complaints by a bunch of people who’d been injured when the machine snapped them in. Needless to say, I decided to go with old-fashioned sit-ups instead!

Question Two: The book opens with Clare and her husband Jake being tortured on an airplane by a toddler sitting behind them. If you have kids, any funny stories about traveling with them? If not, who is the strangest person you've ever sat next to on an airplane?

I do have several stories about traveling with kids and episodes of inappropriate peeing and pooping, but I’ll spare you the details. Before we had kids, my husband and I went on a trip to Vegas. We went on New Year’s Day, just after The Fiesta Bowl ended, and the flight ended up being nearly the entire Oregon football team and us. My husband and I had seats together, but (and this was back when you actually had to check in with the ticket agent), the gate agent somehow messed up checking us in and re-ticketed us on another flight, which ended up putting us on stand-by for our original flight. So we eventually got on our original flight, but, since we were standby, we were the last two people on and seated on total opposite sides of the plane. I sat in between two of the biggest hulking football players I’ve ever seen, both of whom must have been pretty sleepy because they put their head down on the tray table and slept the whole time, while I sat scrunched up in the middle seat.

Question Three: As a famous blogger, Clare is often recognized in the public, usually right after she's spilled something on herself or the like. As an author, have you ever been recognized by a reader? Or have you ever seen a famous author in public?

No, I’ve never been recognized in public, nor have I seen a famous author in public. A wise author friend of mine once told me that being an author was the best sort of career that might bring you fame. Because, she said, even if you have some degree of fame, you can still leave the house without make-up on and not have to worry about people recognizing you. Thank goodness, because I rarely ever leave my house with make-up on these days. So it’s good to know that no one will recognize me, even if I ever do reach some level of famous author-dom!

Question Four: Clare's sister Sam, who's in high school, throws a party while their parents are out of town. Would you ever have dared to throw a party when your parents were gone? (No need to actually fess up...unless you want to!)

Nope. Never. I actually had (and still have) a really close relationship with my parents, so if I’d wanted to have a party I probably would’ve just asked them!

Question Five: One of Clare's guilty pleasures is watching really bad (and thus awesome), cheesy Lifetime movies--especially ones starring Tori Spelling. What is your guilty pleasure movie?

My guilty pleasure movie is Fools Rush In starring Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek. Best. Movie. Ever. I may have seen it so many times that I know all the lines. . . but what can I say, I’m a sucker for romantic comedies. And speaking of Tori Spelling, my guilty pleasure summer reality show is Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. I love watching Tori try to eke out her second book on her laptop while her son throws a tantrum in the background!

Happy Release Week, Maureen! And congrats on a fabulous book!! If you're reading this, and you haven't yet gotten your hands on a copy, I HIGHLY recommend it!

IT'S MAUREEN'S RELEASE WEEK! YAY

Since Maureen and I are related, by publisher & agent, I want to take this opportunity to shout out to the cyber world, I AM THRILLED FOR MY NG SISTER!

I snuck over to her other blog, www.nowthatyoumentionit.typepad.com and found out that the Chicago Borders has a vertical shelf, nearly as tall as Maureen, full of A Bump In the Road. She goes on to say there is a wall of pink, glossy covers with a black and white photo of herself atop the shelf advertising her book signing on Wednesday, June 24 at 7 p.m. 1500 16th St., Oak Brook, Chicago. If you live nearby, please take this opportunity to stop in and tell Maureen hello . . . and buy a book.

Her questions for all of us are so much fun. Here's a peek into my world.

Question One: In A BUMP IN THE ROAD, Clare loves to watch and order products from infomercials. Have you ever ordered anything off of an infomercial? (Being tempted counts!)

If I had more money, I'm sure my whole house would be full of cheesy, malfunctioning, not-living-up-to-their-promises gadgets. I so love a gadget. In fact, I just saw one for removing corn kernels from the cob. Love it. Want it. Might have to buy it. I've almost bought The Total Gym from Christy Brinkley numerous times convincing myself that I might have a chance to have her bod since she's 55! But like I said, novelists with two jobs are low on the green stuff.

Question Two: The book opens with Clare and her husband Jake being tortured on an airplane by a toddler sitting behind them. If you have kids, any funny stories about traveling with them? If not, who is the strangest person you've ever sat next to on an airplane?

Having raised two boys, there were plenty of traveling nightmares but my strangest-person-I've-sat-next-to-on-an-airplane story is far better to retell. I was coming home from California. That's a heck of a long flight. Four and a half hours. Not only was I in a middle seat, I was sandwiched in between two Hare Krishnas. (Mohawk hairdo, habit, socks with flip-flops and all.) Are you with me, here? Try to imagine yourself in my seat. Their B.O. was absolutely suffocating, and upon take-off they pulled out their chanting beads and started to hum . . . loudly. And they never stopped. Maybe the jet's engines drowned out the hums for others on the plane but as for me - I was completely unnerved. When the stewardess finally walked by later and caught the look of terror in my eye, she took it upon herself to move me. To first class! It was the least she could do and she knew it.

Question Three: As a famous blogger, Clare is often recognized in the public, usually right after she's spilled something on herself or the like. As an author, have you ever been recognized by a reader? Or have you ever seen a famous author in public?

Ohhh, no. I'm a long way from that. Come to think of it I've never seen a famous author out in public either.

Question Four: Clare's sister Sam, who's in high school, throws a party while their parents are out of town. Would you ever have dared to throw a party when your parents were gone? (No need to actually fess up...unless you want to!)

Not only would I have thrown a party, I threw several. Like my NG sister Maureen, I spent many a high school weekend grounded myself. I'll never forget the time I hid my boyfriend in my parent's closest when I heard them coming in the door. At 2:30 am, when he was still stuck inside, I figured I might as well fess-up. Can't remember how long I was grounded for that one.


Question Five: One of Clare's guilty pleasures is watching really bad (and thus awesome), cheesy Lifetime movies--especially ones starring Tori Spelling. What is your guilty pleasure movie?

Let's see, reality TV is without a doubt my guilty pleasure. Topping the list is The Bachelor. Once I tune in for the first episode, I'm hooked. Although after last season, when the dude dumped the sweet girl only two weeks after he chose her, I was done.

Thanks for these fun interview questions, Maureen. Happy Release Week, girlfriend. You need a party!

Released. Finally.

Hap-py Release Day to Me! Hap-py Release Day to Me!

My release date.

Wow.

Kind of a cool coincidence that I get to post on my actual launch date, huh? I must say, these past two weeks have been the most stressful and exciting days of my life. Stressful because I desperately want my little book to do well, for readers to laugh and love Clare as much as I do. Exciting because this is something I've dreamed about for about a billion years.

So now that it's finally here, I'm hoping that I can enjoy the ride, no matter what bumps in the road may appear. This afternoon I'm going to celebrate by going out to lunch with my husband and visiting my book at Border's. Hopefully I won't start shrieking and flailing my arms around when I see it, but no promises.

Without further fan-fare here are my answers to this week's questions:

Question One: In A BUMP IN THE ROAD, Clare loves to watch and order products from infomercials. Have you ever ordered anything off of an infomercial? (Being tempted counts!)

YES. I believe my obsession with infomercials started when I begged my parents to buy me the Ron Popeil Food Dehydrator because I wanted to make my own fruit roll-ups. After much cajoling, they purchased it. It only took me about a week to figure out I had no desire to dehydrate ANYTHING or make my own beef jerky.

Name any infomercial and I've probably seen it and contemplated the purchase--the ShamWow, the Ron Popeil Automatic Pasta Maker, the Showtime Rotisserie Oven, the Flavorwave microwave oven, the Magic Bullet, that weird immersion blender. Granted, I haven't ordered any of these things, but it would bring me endless happiness to welcome them into my home.

Question Two: The book opens with Clare and her husband Jake being tortured on an airplane by a toddler sitting behind them. If you have kids, any funny stories about traveling with them? If not, who is the strangest person you've ever sat next to on an airplane?

Last summer, my husband and I took our first plane ride with our then-one-year-old. We prepared as well as we thought we could--except our flight was delayed by two hours and our supply of diapers in the carry-on quickly dwindled. And guess what? They don't sell diapers at airport drugstores. And guess what my son did two seconds before we boarded? Not funny at the time, but laughable now.

As far as strange people, nothing could beat my first plane ride to Las Vegas. My husband I were seated behind three very tool-like guys who had seen Swingers WAY too many times. They first tried to bring a case of beer on the flight, which was quickly denied by the flight attendant. After the seatbelt sign was turned off, they walked up and down the aisles, hitting on women and handing out business cards. Then, just before landing, two of them went into the bathroom to puke.

Question Three: As a famous blogger, Clare is often recognized in the public, usually right after she's spilled something on herself or the like. As an author, have you ever been recognized by a reader? Or have you ever seen a famous author in public?

Sadly, not yet. But if anyone does see me out, come say hi! Don't be shy--I'll probably say something really, really dumb and you'll wonder if I've experienced some kind of brain damage.

This weekend, I did meet a famous author--Jen Lancaster. I had a total fangirl moment as I told her about my book and tried to crack a few jokes. I don't think she laughed and probably wondered about the brain damage thing. But seriously, she was funny and cool and hilarious and I totally want to be BFFs with her.

Question Four: Clare's sister Sam, who's in high school, throws a party while their parents are out of town. Would you ever have dared to throw a party when your parents were gone? (No need to actually fess up...unless you want to!)

Yes, I would have thrown a party and yes, I did. And yes, I got caught. Which is why I spent much of my time in high school grounded.

Question Five: One of Clare's guilty pleasures is watching really bad (and thus awesome), cheesy Lifetime movies--especially ones starring Tori Spelling. What is your guilty pleasure movie?

Brain-draining reality television is probably my biggest guilty pleasure. Anything starring washed up actors or rock stars coupled with skanky alcoholic strippers and you can bet I'll be watching. I find these shows to be a kind of brain palate cleanser. They serve to reset my mental state when I'm fried over book revisions or the latest toddler meltdown apocalypse. And, if nothing else, I can feel just a smidge better about myself because I'm not crying over being dumped by Bret Michaels.

So that's it! Now go out and buy a copy of A BUMP IN THE ROAD!

Celebrating Another TNG Release!

Today is a great day because it's the first day of Maureen Lipinski's release week! Okay, I guess it's officially the second day of the week, but it's the first TNG day! I have A Bump in the Road...preordered and I am purposely not starting any other book until it arrives, so I can jump right in. Maureen is ultra-creative, and she devised five fantastic questions for the rest of the The Novel Girls to answer. Today is my turn!

Question One: In A BUMP IN THE ROAD, Clare loves to watch and order products from informercials. Have you ever ordered anything off of an informercial? (Being tempted counts!)

Tracy's Answer: Honestly, I have never ordered or been tempted to order anything from an informercial. This is more because if I'm up late, I'm either writing, working (also writing), reading, or playing a game (my newest addiction is The Sims 3, btw). I'd have to watch an informercial in order to be tempted to order anything, and I just don't watch them.

Question Two: The book opens with Clare and her husband Jake being tortured on an airplane by a toddler sitting behind them. If you have kids, any funny stories about traveling with them? If not, who is the strangest person you've ever sat next to on an airplane?

Tracy's Answer: Okay, I'm answering both of these, because 1) I do have kids, and 2) I sat next to a very "interesting" person once on a trip to Boston. For the kid story, when my oldest two were little, we were on our way to a family gathering in Las Vegas. My son fell a little bit in love with one of the flight attendants and kept trying to get out of his seat and follow her around. He was maybe 3 at the time, and the passengers closest to us thought it hysterical. I just wanted him to stay in his seat!

As to the other question, once when I was flying to visit a friend in Boston, I sat next to this guy who seemed quite nice. He was probably in his late 50s and was very genial. Once the plane started down the runway, though, he began listing statistics about plane crashes, and when the most likely time a plane could run into problems was. He kept this up for the entire flight! Let's just say I heard way more information about possible plane malfunctions than I ever needed to know.

Question Three: As a famous blogger, Clare is often recognized in the public, usually right after she's spilled something on herself or the like. As an author, have you ever been recognized by a reader? Or have you ever seen a famous author in public?

Tracy's Answer: Nope, I have never been recognized in public. Something to aim for! And yes, I've been around many of my favorite authors at the various writing conferences I attend each year. The first time was certainly an awe-filled moment!

Question Four: Clare's sister Sam, who's in high school, throws a party while their parents are out of town. Would you ever have dared to throw a party when your parents were gone? (No need to actually fess up...unless you want to!)

Tracy's Answer: Hmm, my parents never went out of town and left us home alone, so I never had the opportunity. But honestly? Yep, I would've done it. I probably would've gotten caught, though. :)

Question Five: On of Clare's guilty pleasures is watching really bad (and thus awesome), cheesy Lifetime movies--especially ones starring Tori Spelling. What is your guilty pleasure movie?

Tracy's Answer: I have several. I love the teenage angst movies from the 80s, most of them starring folks like Molly Ringwald & Rob Lowe. But I also love romantic comedies! SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE, WHILE I WAS SLEEPING, LOVE ACTUALLY, and more. Give me laughter and romance and I'm there!

Great questions, Maureen! I can't wait to see what the rest of TNG answers are!

Huge, super congrats with fireworks for the release of A BUMP IN THE ROAD. I hope you have a fantastic, fun, celebratory week...and I can't wait to read get my hands on my copy!