Sunday, May 30, 2010


First of all, CONGRATULATIONS to Maureen on the launch of NOT READY FOR MOM JEANS! I seriously cannot wait to read this. I love her voice and I'm really looking forward to seeing what kinds of knots Clare can tie herself into this time! Sartorially or otherwise.

As for me? My fashion faux pas usually happen above my neck.

Here's the thing about being shortsighted. When I go to the salon, and take off my glasses for the duration of the procedure, I have absolutely NO idea what's going on with my head until the thing's done and there's no turning back. This has led to some... interesting coifs.

Some years ago I let an obviously deranged stylist have a go at the ol' locks. He cut my bangs asymmetrically, in two layers, dyed the underside black and the rest of my hair bright red. The end result looked as if I was a French femme fatale spy in disguise whose wig had slipped.

My mother said I looked like Biff Naked. I don't even want to know how she knew who that was.

Then there was the spiral perm. The end result of which was that, in high school, one of my numerous nicknames was Fluffy the Wonder Poodle. That's the kind of a name that sticks with a girl.

Once I came away from the rinse station with the hair at the back of my head showing a muddy shade of green. I was in the salon until ten that night as my stylist had to perform a rather extensive color correction due to something the previous stylist had used. I think it might have been toxic.

I stick with straight now. And blonde. And a hairdresser who seems as though they haven't been in the back room sipping cough syrup all afternoon. And I have a team on standby to do an intervention the next time I say: "I'm thinking of having something different done with my hair this time..."


Anonymous said...

lol. You looked like Biff. Sorry. I just woke up so that's a little hilarious. I am one of those people who in a moment of boredom will do something, anything, so I won't be bored. nine times out of ten it is cutting my hair. I once cut my hair 3 times in one week. LOL. And I do it myself, if I mess it up well... it's hair, and hair grows back. Or I can wear a hat. I do live in Fla. after all.

The worst hair cut I ever gave myself came from a full straight week of watching G.I. Jane with my sister, bordom and spotting my dads shavers while I made a tinkle. LOL. Yep, I shaved it alll off. Well, there was a tiny bit left but yeah. To me, I looked like a short fat Chinese boy who hadn't yet reached puberty but to everyone else, for some strange reason, loved it. LOL.

Lesley Livingston said...

HA! That's hilarious, Jessica.

Might I suggest avoiding "V for Vendetta"...?

Doug A Scott said...

Well, you know I approved fully of your redhead period, and that seemed to go without a hitch.

Hold on, I'm remembering an e-mail where you mentioned your hair ending up bright pink during a colouring session.

So, never mind, then...

Rhiannon said...

V for vendetta inspired my short hair!! though more like the growing in of Natalie Portman's hair after V for Vendetta and I had a great experience, so I'd highly suggest Nicole at Curl up and Dye in Kensington Market. No muddie colour disasters, asymetrical bangs or Bif Naked disasters ever again.

Maureen Lipinski said...

I, too, had an unfortunate incident that involved a spiral perm. We do not speak of that time and I've burned most of the photos.

Anonymous said...

Oh I'm late on responding to this, but I seen that movie. V for Vendetta. For a brief moment I had considered shaving it just to see. I think the G.I. Jane marathon came a few months after so it was probably still in my head to try it out when the second thought to do so popped up. LOL. But never again, no matter how many times my brother begs me.