In other words, FANTASY.
(Those of you who have lived long enough, will remember my title riff as pertaining to that old Saturday night cheez-fest, Fantasy Island, starring the always delightful Ricardo Montalban. Those of you who haven't, well, youtube is your friend. Or possibly not, in this case.)
So. It seems that I, alone, of the Noble Order of Novel Girls, tend to eschew reality TV. It is my lot in life. I've always been an odd duck. *sigh*
I understand the fascination, I truly do. I just can't do it. I watched the first season of Survivor - mostly because it was impossible to have a relevant conversation with my mother if I hadn't seen that weeks episode - but that's about it.
Other than that, I occasionally stumble across an episode of America's Next Top Model, which I will watch for ten minutes or so, just for the the sheer roadkill factor, before I have to hit the remote. And sometimes, when John is out, there's the odd half-hour of home-decor porn (oh Debbie Travis, you wall-bashing vixen, you).
But that's really it.
I can't watch any of the dancing shows, because they just remind me of my failed age 6 aspirations of prima ballerina-dom (they were brief and fleeting, really - I was a hobbyist - but still). And even though I hear that SYTYCD is damn entertaining, I just can't commit.
I can't watch the Idol shows because I tend to exhibit violent, over-reactionary behavior in the face of aspiration-mockery. Too many years spent auditioning, I think. It's somewhat soured me on the process - I just can't watch contestants have their dreams steamrollered week after week.
I also can't watch any of the aging has-been freak-show parades. They just make me feel ooky.
And I fondly remember a blissful, more innocent, gentler time, when I had never even heard of Jon and Kate (or their eight), or that Tila Tequila chick. Who are these people, why on earth should I care, and when are they going to have the good sense to be ashamed of themselves and crawl back into obscurity where I don't have to read about them in the morning Metro??? Gah.
I guess if I have to watch something that you could call reality tv, I would have to say that I do have one form of it I will watch with an obsession bordering on the unhealthy. And that is Leafs hockey. It's heartbreakingly real. Especially every time the playoffs roll around and we're not in them.
Right! So having confessed, who's with me? Any reality haters in the crowd? Stand with me!
And while your doing that - don't forget to enter the Novel Girls Blogoversary Contest-o-Rama-Rama for a chance to win a signed copy of A Bump in the Road and a $100 Amazon Gift Card!! Details on the side bar!