Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Pomp, Circumstance and Secrets

After Tracy's wonderful post about her daughter yesterday, I'm afraid I have a little bit of post anxiety this week. See, I don't have much experience with graduations other than my own. Sure, my siblings matriculate from a school every four years, but usually that means sitting in a freezing auditorium and reading a book. (Fragile Eternity got me through my brother's law school graduation this year--sorry Patrick!)

So, instead, I'm going to talk about a different kind of graduation, one that's particularily relevant to me this week: graduating from being a pre-published to a published author.

Before I get into the deets, wanna know a secret? Come close. Shhh...It's better than I expected.

The last few months before A BUMP IN THE ROAD was released, my anxiety increased a thousandfold everytime I saw that little ticker counting down on the right sidebar of this here blog ----------------------------------->

It wasn't that I didn't want my book to come out, that I thought it stunk or anything else. It was just so...overwhelming. The weight of the idea that a life-long dream of mine was about to be fulfilled nearly crushed me. As the days went by, I became more and more nervous and scared that my little book was going to flop. That people would hate it. That I'd never get another publishing contract again.

And so on. By the time June 8th rolled around, I think I was about ready to start drinking heavily or sobbing into my laptop. But, the next morning, I woke up as a published author. And while the anxiety, fear and gut-wrenching nerves were still there, I was OK again.

I held my book in my hands, and I was OK. And suddenly the fire inside was re-lit and I wanted to get out there and tell everyone about my book.

While it's been a stressful and crazy two weeks, I've tried to get "out there" as much as possible. I threw two launch parties, I have a signing scheduled at Borders tomorrow (eep!) and I've embraced the idea of talking about my book constantly, even though I feel like I'm describing my eighth grade English class paper half the time.

And you know what? I'm hooked. Hooked, I tell ya. Every moment of self-doubt, all the tears shed over rejections, the cringe-inducing fear at people reading "my baby" has been worth it.

So now, I pass the graduation cap to you, Lisa!


Tracy Madison said...

What a tremendously appropriate and perfect post, Maureen! I agree with you, it's all so very worth it.

BTW, thanks to you, I barely slept last night. Now, I'm trying to work on MY book with sleepy eyes and fighting the want to either a) go back to sleep, or b) continue reading your magnificent book.

But I have to write before I can do either of those things. :)

Lisa Patton said...

Thanks for the cap . . . and the torch. Just a little over three more months.

Great post, Maureen. Can't wait to hear more of the details.

Jillian Cantor said...

I know exactly how you feel! I felt the same way back in February. I've been wondering if every new book release is like this graduation of sorts, or if it gets easier the second time around?

Lesley Livingston said...

The fun thing about having been the first Girl to "graduate" is that I been able to relax and cheer you guys on!

(Of course, now Jillian's comment has me wondering if I'm gonna do the freak-out all over again come December...)