Monday, May 11, 2009

Chocolate, Good Books, and Friends

Rejections are tough, no matter where a writer is in their career. I've had rejections in the past that have nearly crippled me emotionally for a few days, and I've had plenty that have barely gotten through my not-so-thick skin. Regardless, my way of dealing with rejection is the same.

  1. I read the rejection letter once, take it in, and set it aside.
  2. I feel however I'm going to feel...I mean, it's not like I can stop my emotions, so I don't even try.
  3. I give myself no more than 24 hours to be a total mess (if that's where my emotions are taking me).
  4. I focus on comfort for those 24 hours. Yep, sometimes that means chocolate, sometimes that means reading an excellent book, and sometimes it means commiserating with friends who are also writers. Often it means all three.
  5. When the 24 hours are up, I get back to work. That means I write.
  6. If I'm feeling strong enough, I'll read the rejection letter again. This is especially true if it isn't a form rejection, but contains reasons for the rejection. I let these reasons simmer while I do my, kids, writing, whatever that is.
  7. At some point, I'll revise if I agree with the points made.
  8. Rinse and repeat.

Okay, so I'm the first to admit that a numbered list of actions doesn't take into account the bone deep grief I've felt with certain rejections. What the list does do, though, is show a methodical way of dealing with that grief and then moving on. Moving on is important. Continuing to write is crucial. So yes, I definitely give myself time to mourn, but then I pick myself back up and keep moving forward.

Having incredible friends and their support is also key.

Here's hoping everyone has a terrific (and rejection free) week!


Maureen Lipinski said...

Great advice, Tracy! And my comfort often includes red wine. Because everything seems a bit better after a nice glass of Pinor Noir!

Jillian Cantor said...

Good advice! Because really, I think chocolate is the answer to most things!!

Lesley Livingston said...

I'm going to have to try the chocolate thing next time. I've never actually done the chocolate thing.

Lisa Patton said...

Yeah I do chocolate, too. And carmel. And lemon. Great advice!